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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23102596">Fever</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account'>orphan_account</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst with a Happy Ending, Comfort, Gingerpilot, M/M, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Sickfic, kind of a Coronavirus or plauge/pandemic AU</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 13:55:52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,198</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23102596</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>While transporting Hux to a tribunal for his war crimes, the Poe Dameron and the former First Order General are held in quaratine when having to stop on a planet in the midst of a major pandemic.</p><p>(All of the things in the meida around the Coronavirus panic led to this AU)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Poe Dameron/Armitage Hux</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>40</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“You sure are more obedient than I thought you would be,” said Poe with a causal hair, as he keyed in activation codes into a tablet, preparing for the procedure he had yet to perform on Hux.</p><p>“As your guest, I am dependent upon your hospitality, and that of this disease-infested planet,” said Hux returning the smile through gritted teeth in manner that was both threatening and ingratiating.</p><p>Poe did what he could to keep in control of the situation, knowing that the comrade of his mandatory quarantine was making similar calculations – what chance either of them had of making it out alive. He continued to fumble with the tablet, trying to get it to work. Meanwhile, Hux knelt on the floor in front of him by the bed, his arms locked together behind his back. There was a strange expression in his eyes, and stranger still was the man’s silent complacence to Dameron’s every command – some of which the pilot gave just to see what he would happen. It felt as if Hux mind was elsewhere than the third-rate boarding house which they shared, repurposed by the presiding officials of the plague-ridden planet.</p><p>They had spoken little during the journey from the base where Hux had been kept as prisoner and Poe wondered if the First Order general had expected more in return for his assistance. No matter what he did, his body was trapped somewhere that was neither life nor death, for both he and Poe knew the sentence that awaited him at the end of his trial. Indeed Dameron had tried to give testimony upon his behalf -- even if his soul was not entirely in it -- out of a sense of honor and obligatory gratitude. Yet he could not fully shake the truth; that Hux’s motives for aiding the Resistance were not of the kind to appease the council of judges which would preside over him – taking into the balance the lives that Hux had been responsible for obliterating. </p><p>Poe tried to reduce the burden upon his conscience by the thought that after taking Hux back with him and having his wounds treated, what became of the man was out of his hands – however, this practical and sensible notion was jarring to his instincts, for he was not one to let things take their course, even if it meant fighting against the tide. It seemed a weak thing to do – to simply accept. Had Hux given up, a part of him wondered, or was he forever a traitor to all but self-preservation, planning machinations even while he feigned a mute subservience.</p><p>There was little that endeared Poe to aid the former general, besides the guilt of an unpaid debt; he hated owing someone – especially someone like Hux.</p><p> He had to let it go.</p><p>While flying the ship to the base where the trial would be held -- and more so since their confinement on the plagued planet -- Poe had had the opportunity to observe Hux closely. Again he focused his gaze upon the former general, for there was something unnerving about his mute presence. His expression was difficult to read, whenever their eyes met he thought he saw something like thinly veiled contempt amid the grim melancholy – as if a part of himself endured, but was greatly weakened. Poe wondered what he would do if Hux made a grasp for freedom, tried to overpower him, deceive or manipulate him – was it is duty to give in? To call it even?</p><p> “You – my guest?” chuckled Poe. “Don’t think this changes anything, just because we’re stuck here -- you are still a prisoner of the Resistance and once we are done waiting about, I am transporting you directly to the tribunal – after all that you had done, do you really think you would just get to walk away from it? I believe in second chances, but that’s not what you were looking for – not until you realized the alternative”</p><p>“Is that so,” Hux felt offense at Dameron’s high-handed manner, especially in light of his recent efforts to be more or less civil, a change upon which he felt much depended. Until that day, he had not been entirely certain of what kind of impression he was making upon the pilot – not knowing what to say to him to put him at his ease. It appeared to Hux that every word which he uttered was viewed with the suspicion of ulterior motives, which although not entirely unfounded, was nevertheless aggravating. What he had sensed by intuition had been confirmed by the pilot’s condemning words.</p><p>They started at one another fixedly, as if in challenge. Somehow Poe much preferred their old dynamics, brief as they were – the teasing banter, for General Hux seemed easy enough to provoke then. Poe could describe him as socially inexperienced, remarkably so. He wondered what kind of personal life he might have had to turn out that way – a methodical albeit awkward creature of the First Order. Had Hux ever slept with someone, or even experienced feelings of sincere friendship? Poe shook his head at these bizarre thoughts, they should not matter to him – he knew what it was. Guilt. Guilt and the claustrophobic feeling of being trapped in quarantine for he knew not how long.</p><p>It made him feel like he would never see anyone but damned General Hux again, that he would die on some totalitarian planet that he barely knew or understood just because of poor planning and worse luck. It made him angry just thinking about it. He had to try not to. He had to stay sane.</p><p>“I don’t want to get your hopes up unnecessarily, Hugs,” he gave him a patronizing pat on the cheek, grinning all the while – for there was something delicious in seeing the First Order general brought low. “When this quarantine is over, you have a one way trip ahead you to a much longer stay, or worse – without even the pleasure of such amiable company”</p><p>“<em>When</em>?” Hux said mockingly, imitating the other’s tone. “You mean – <em>if”</em></p><p><em>“</em>I do not quite catch your meaning,” Poe set down the tablet and looked at him hard, wondering if Hux was just goading him. He supposed he deserved it, for a part of him was taking his frustration out on the other – feeling somewhat guilty as he realized this. It was not his job to taunt or torture the man, no matter how much he disliked him.</p><p>“Have you not heard the recent statistics?”  Hux looked at him coldly.</p><p>“I’ve been busy,” Poe shrugged his shoulders. While Hux spent most of his time listening to the local broadcasts, Dameron had been trying to get a signal to the Resistance to make sure that his whereabouts and situation were known. It certainly wasn’t easy, and he was beginning to fear that he would not be able to get through the communication signal block that seemed to pervade the capital. Only government authorized transmissions were allowed to pass through to ships and planets beyond their own.</p><p>There seemed to be but a handful recurring message that made it through, repeated like a mantra – that access to the planet was strictly restricted, that all must remain in quarantine, that rationed supplies would be distributed on scheduled hours based on priority. Given that Poe and his ‘friend’ where neither trusted allies nor high ranking diplomats, just passing through for repairs and a restocking of fuel, Dameron was in doubt as to how soon their next meal would come as their supply of food ran out three days ago.</p><p>The situation was certainly not one he had bargained for.</p><p>“I suppose we are relatively safe, while we remain here – but if they are just going to leave us in this dilapidated room to starve to death, then we must do something,” said Hux, as if echoing Poe’s unspoken sentiments.</p><p>“They’ll come, eventually,” he tried to be reassuring, as much for his own sake as to qualm any defiant spirit that was left in the general. He remembered how for a long while he had been struggling with the notion of allowing the man some inkling of forgiveness, perhaps of having him work for the Resistance – but the more he thought about it the more he knew he had to squash any plans upon those lines. Hux was not a repentant follower – he had been a general, and was only sorry for a certain change in leadership, rather than because his conscience had vexed him. Poe reminded himself of these things as he surveyed Hux’s face, only partially listening to the speech the man was giving him.</p><p>“I am not taking down the guards outside, nor am I trusting <em>you</em> with a gun -- I would have to be a dunderhead,” Poe whispered incredulously, to think that the man would suggest a thing like that.</p><p>“Forgive my optimism, for a moment I thought you might be sensible enough to put our differences aside for the sake of our mutual interests,” said Hux in a calm voice that Poe found oddly aggravating.</p><p>“What interests might those be, Hugs?”</p><p>“We both wish to live,” he replied.</p><p>“I won’t deny it on my part,” sighed Poe, “but it’s too soon to think of taking on <em>that</em>,” he pulled aside the tattered old curtain to reveal a cityscape of towering skyscrapers, neon billboards flashing bright red warning messages. “Do you know what that says – do you buddy? <em>Anyone</em> <em>who goes outside will be shot dead without warning</em>”</p><p>“I understand,” said Hux, undeterred.</p><p>“Then it must be because you have nothing to lose that you are urging me on”</p><p>“It would not be your first reckless escapade,” Hux tried his luck, hoping to stroke the other’s ego.</p><p>“Yes, well, somehow I’m lacking that adrenaline rush to pull this one off,” Poe heaved a heavy sigh as he remembered his daring mission against the general’s ship – something which felt like long ago. He turned to shut the curtain and sat down again upon the bed. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m willing to risk my life, but it has to be something worth dying for – tell me you have a plan and I’ll consider it”</p><p>“Have you received confirmation of the postponement of my trial?” Hux changed the subject.</p><p>“Yes,” Poe answered reluctantly. “I suppose you are pleased”</p><p>“I am indifferent”</p><p>“Then why did you ask?”</p><p>“To distract you from your fear, because clearly you discomposed”</p><p>Poe wanted to make a retort but stopped himself in time. It would be a lie, to say that he was not at all afraid – there was something about the reports surrounding the virus which had deeply affected him, reminding him of a pandemic that had taken place on his home planet many years ago. This was nevertheless not a topic which he wished to confide in with Hux, nor was he in the mood to bicker with the man.</p><p>“Perhaps at a later occasion we may discuss some means of returning to our ship,” Hux changed his tone to a reconciliatory one, sensing the other’s anger.</p><p>“Our ship is it now? Just because we have to share a bed doesn’t mean –“</p><p>“Oh please, as if I would care for such trash -- except for during times of dire need, like this,” Hux could not help himself from saying. “Now may I get up? My knees are growing sore,” he glowered, his head bowed to the floor.</p><p>“That is not what I was going to say. And no, not yet,” Poe remembered the implant he was going to activate to help remove some of the paranoia he was developing from having to keep a constant watch over Hux, in case he tried to attack him or make a getaway – both of which he had attempted while kept prisoner at the Resistance base. The more days passed without incident, the more ill at ease he felt.</p><p>“Don’t move now,” Dameron held General Hux still, his hand lifting up his chin as he pressed the device to other’s temple.</p><p>The man winced at the sharp pain, a momentary sting like the prick of a needle. He glared up at Poe with a look of loathing but said nothing.</p><p>“There,” he muttered, reading the signal on the tablet through which the prisoner’s emotions would be logged, the initial reading he interpreted as ‘mildly annoyed’.</p><p>“Was this really <em>necessary</em>?” Hux rose to his feet and Poe felt a note of scorn in the general’s voice.</p><p>“It’s a ‘nice to have’,” Poe replied casually, “I’m sure you don’t mind me being more in touch with your feelings, you’re such a sensitive guy aren’t you”</p><p>Hux did not know how to respond to such remarks, looking away in exasperation.</p><p>“If you are done with trying to manipulate me for the night, I say it is time we go to bed,” Poe decided.</p><p>“Will you perhaps consider removing my restraints,” he felt the time was opportune to make the request.</p><p>Poe hesitated for a moment, looking between him and the tablet.</p><p>“Fine, but one false move,” Dameron gave him a warning look before removing the metallic band around his wrists.</p><p>He watched as Hux sighed in relief, being able to move his arms from their uncomfortable position. He rubbed the sore skin where the metal dug in, feeling an unspoken gratitude for the morsel of comfort.</p><p>“Not even a thank you?” said Poe as he watched him stretch.</p><p>“Yes -- thank you,” he forced himself to say.</p><p>There was a somewhat awkward moment until Hux laid down upon the bed, taking his place beside the wall -- trying to take up as little space as possible as he curled up beneath the woolen blanket without further ado. Poe laid down beside him facing the opposite wall, causing the rickety bed to descend slightly under his weight as it had for Hux.  </p><p>That night Hux dreamt that he was still a general onboard the Finalizer, and that it was there that the epidemic was taking place. He watched as a crew member was executed and taken away as symptoms of his illness began to show themselves – meanwhile all those with non-critical roles were confined to their chambers. Then, Hux became acutely aware that he too had been marked by the strange illness, that he was slowly decaying from within -- that he had tried to mask the sickly pallor of his skin and endure the nauseating feeling which threatened to make him collapse where he stood.</p><p>In the dream, the general knew that Supreme Leader Ren felt this, sensing his duplicity. He was taken away to the man’s chamber and made to recline, he tried to protest, make futile assurances, but Ren would not listen. Hux saw him remove his mask, reaching out for his face, one which grew increasingly cadaverous and repulsive in his mind’s eye. Ren had an unnatural aura about him, as if he were sleepwalking or mesmerized -- under a delusion his rival’s lips slowly pressed against his own. Hux did not know if this was some kind of self-annihilation or another form of madness, but he made no effort to resist, feeling a heavy weakness permeate his every limb as the kiss grew more passionate, all the while the sickness took hold upon him, he felt like his body was disintegrating but could not pull away. Suddenly, rough hands were holding him by the shoulders, shaking him. Hux opened his eyes.</p><p>Poe Dameron stared back at him with a bemused expression.</p><p>“You were making strange noises,” the pilot remarked, “or should I not have waked you?”</p><p>“You should not have,” replied the somewhat flustered general.</p><p>“What were you dreaming about?” he smiled, perceiving the other’s discomfort.</p><p>“Nonsense, all dreams are nonsense,” said Hux dismissively, turning onto his other side to signal that he was in no mood for a late night discussion of the esoteric.</p><p>“Must have been something good, I’m willing to bet,” laughed Poe, not wanting to let him get out of it that easily. In truth, he had been having trouble sleeping himself and was glad of a reason to talk – even to someone like his bedfellow.</p><p>“That is no concern of yours”</p><p>“You say that a lot. Haven’t you learned that is no way to discourage me Hugs,” he rolled onto his back, staring up at the ceiling.</p><p>“Clearly,” muttered Armitage, swathing his arm away.</p><p>“There’s no avoiding me,” he patted him on the back.</p><p>Hux pulled the blanket back onto his side of the bed but said nothing.</p><p>“We haven’t really had a decent chat, you and I – I feel like I barely know anything about you as person,” he ventured to say. “Other than, well..how do I put it...why don’t you tell me your happiest memory?” he reached for something to say, feeling lonely that night and Hux being the only human imprisoned with him.</p><p>“I would rather you abstained from disturbing my sleep on such idle pretenses,” muttered Hux, “what difference does it make”</p><p>“To know you better,” Poe could not help but feel disappointed by the other’s cold or hostile manner. He supposed it was late, but still the rebuff affected him more than he was willing to admit to himself.</p><p>“To what purpose?”</p><p>“Well...maybe it would make me more inclined to help you, if I saw you as something other than a First Order pawn, turned traitor because he can’t stand Kylo Ren – which is a perfectly valid reason, of course,” Poe wasn’t quite sure where he would go with this but he wanted to see what effect it might have on Hux.</p><p>Hux said nothing. Poe hit him over the head with a pillow.</p><p>“Are you a child?” Hux sat up sharply and glared at him, taking the pillow from him.</p><p>“Yeah okay, I don’t know – isn’t this place getting to you?” Poe took it back.</p><p>”No more than the last place,” he muttered, lying back down again.</p><p>“Fair enough,” Poe tried to make himself comfortable on the hard bed.”It’s just that I keep thinking about it, have you ever seen a pandemic before run through a planet, destroy entire villages – cities...”</p><p>“No”</p><p>”You don’t want to talk do you?”</p><p>“No”</p><p>Poe frowned. Why did he care? He stared up at the ceiling again and then rubbed his eyes, wondering what he had been thinking. This was General Hux. He was nothing like Finn or really anyone he had ever wanted to be in the same room with.</p><p>He would try to get some sleep if he could.</p><p>“Goodnight,” he heard Hux’s voice after a long pause, it sounded different – almost like a plea.</p><p>“Goodnight,” Poe answered. He hesitated for a bit and then reached for the tablet extremely quietly, confirming the slight remorse that the man had felt – was it remorse? Regret? Loneliness? Regardless which it had been, at least he knew that Hux was still human, despite his cold defenses.</p><p>Hux felt some of the light from the tablet even while his back was turned and suspected that Poe had ‘checked’, leaving him feeling both frustrated and embarrassed, like some shameful secret had been intruded upon.</p><p>...</p><p>“I am going outside”</p><p>“W-What do you mean?” Poe got up suddenly, it was almost noon and yet he felt incredibly tired.</p><p>Hux was already fully dressed and in the process of putting something into Poe’s bag.</p><p>“Hey don’t touch that – what are you doing?”</p><p>“I am merely replacing something that I have borrowed some days ago”</p><p>“Some days ago?” he rubbed his eyes.</p><p>“I shall return in a few hours”</p><p>““I tried busting open the door – believe me, if there was a way out I would have found it,” Poe started to get dressed, not sure yet if he ought to take these announcements seriously.</p><p>“I deactivated the lock mechanism while you were sleeping”</p><p>“When?” okay – he had to take them seriously.</p><p>“Two days ago”</p><p>“And you’re telling me this now!” Poe wanted to shake him.</p><p>“It is not necessary for me to tell you anything, it is but a courtesy”</p><p>“You have a strange idea of courtesy. Is there anything else you care to tell me?” there was something trying to Poe about the man’s haughty countenance.</p><p>“No”</p><p>“You must enjoy being interrogated, you never make it easy do you”</p><p>“Forgive me for betraying your trust,” said Hux sarcastically.</p><p>“Okay okay, so now what – where exactly are you going? And how are you planning to get past the guards? There were at least ten of them in this hall alone when they brought us in”</p><p>“I will take my chances,” said Hux smugly.</p><p>“Are you insane,” laughed Poe.</p><p>“With or without your permission,” he added in the same superior tone.</p><p>“Where do you think you’re going that you need to get there so badly?” Dameron pressed him, stepping between him and the door.</p><p>“That is none of your concern, Dameron,” he said his name with emphatic derision.</p><p>“I know you’re still mad that I wasn’t able to convince them to let you join the Resistance – “</p><p>“I never wanted to join your sorry excuse for a –“</p><p>“Don’t interrupt me,” Poe waved his finger at him. “Now in case you haven’t noticed, as long as I’m accountable for getting you to your trial – you are just about my only concern”</p><p>“Is this another one of your flirtations?”.</p><p>“My what?” Poe furrowed his brow, wondering if Hux really just said that.</p><p>“It was a joke,” Hux made as if to brush the dust off his tunic.</p><p>“I did not know that you could tell jokes Hux. That’s a first,” he could not help but smirk, amused by the other’s awkward manner, as his pasty face had turned a pinker hue. “Or were you serious -- and trying to cover it up your disappointment?”</p><p>“Disappointment? Get out of my way,” Hux shoved him aside, or rather, tried to, for Poe was apparently insistent on keeping him hostage.</p><p>“You’re staying right here my starlight,” said Poe, “I mean, do you want to get shot -- again?”</p><p>“I won’t get shot,” he said gruffly. Hux was growing impatient with the man, wondering if he would have to resort to more desperate means to deal with the nuisance. He could not wait much longer with the days passing by.</p><p>“Oh really? Would you care to explain how you’ll mange that?”</p><p>“No, I do not care to,” muttered Hux.</p><p>“Then you’re staying here with me, given how much we enjoy each other’s company,” Poe smiled broadly, his eyes wide in a mocking look.</p><p>“I do not have time for this,” Hux grit his teeth.</p><p>“Has a fever gone to your head? As I’ve said, you are not going anywhere”</p><p>“You would rather die here -- because you will”</p><p>“Oh so you’re going to get me help are you now?”</p><p>“Y-yes,” he said reluctantly. </p><p>“What kind of help? Some of your First Order connections?”</p><p>“I have visited this planet before for weapons trade negotiations, and if by chance they have not yet heard of my...resignation, there is a possibility that I would be a able to use my former goodwill and authority to get access to resources”</p><p>“I suspect that is just half the story, but fine, I’ll take it,” said Poe, taking up the tablet for confirmation – if he was lying, it was by omission...or he was a really good liar. A part of him was glad to latch onto hope. “What about getting them to give me my ship back so we can get out of here?” for a moment a flash of optimism was sparked.</p><p>“It will not do to make an unreasonable request, we will get nothing if we appear to disregard their policies,” said Hux with a knowing air, hoping that the excuse would not be contradicted.</p><p>“Hm, I don’t know – I think it is worth a try”</p><p>“Luckily I do my own thinking”</p><p>Poe rolled his eyes.</p><p>“I guess the plan is better than sitting around here,” he sighed, taking another look through the barred window where rows of shabby tents were arranged in the courtyard. He wondered which type of quarters he would have preferred – being out there in the searing heat or in the dingy swamp-smelling room with Hux which gave him the recollection of a prison.</p><p>“Indeed,” said Hux encouragingly.</p><p>“I’m coming with you,” Poe announced.</p><p>“No – you most certainly are not,” Hux looked aghast.</p><p>“Why not?” Dameron could not help but feel somewhat slighted, and then suspicious.</p><p>“A man of your temperament is poorly suited to partake in delicate matters of diplomacy,” Hux folded his arms behind his back, avoiding eye contact.</p><p>“And you are Mr. Delicate are you?”</p><p>“I know when to keep my silence,” scowled Hux.</p><p>“I don’t know about that. In any case, how do I know I can trust you?”</p><p>“That is your business”</p><p> “And if I try and stop you? Which I will,” he tried to grab Hux before he could make it out the door but the man pulled away – Poe grappled with him but given the other’s recent injuries he did not feel it was a fair fight to be rough with him.</p><p>“Then you are an interfering fool!” spat Hux as Poe let go of him.</p><p> “Fine, get yourself killed – it’s all the same to me,” Dameron retorted.</p><p>Hux turned from him, unlocked the door and headed out of the room -- locking it behind himself. He had no choice.</p><p>Despite the extreme threats against those disobeying protocol and leaving their quarantine site, little effort had been made to enforce these laws – while the sound of muffled conversations, coughing and the crying of a child were heard through the hall, the dimly lit corridor appeared deserted. Nevertheless, Hux walked with caution, wishing that he had managed to steal more than a knife from amongst Poe’s belongings.</p><p>He could hear Dameron struggling with the door moments later, likely cursing him under his breath. Forced to remain in the dingy room, Poe felt more restless than before, wondering where Hux had gone and how his mission had faired, annoyed that he was so callously left behind due to his own irresolution. Because there was no clock, he did not know how many hours had passed – the sky had grown dark by the time Hux had returned, and by then Poe was almost sure he was a goner. He sat up from the mattress and rushed to the door to receive what looked like a large bundle of dry green-black leaves.</p><p>“So they didn’t kill you after all,” he exclaimed, “what are these kriffing things?” Poe examined them, too curious and relived to be angry.</p><p>“A kind of dehydrated water plant native to this region,” Hux replied, from his somber voice Poe could tell that something did not go as he had hoped.</p><p>“Where are your shoes?” he looked down at his bare feet.</p><p>“It is high in nutrients and should last us about a week,” he ignored the question.</p><p>“Thanks Hugs,” Poe felt somewhat guilty for some of the things that he had been thinking about Hux, most of them still true, he assured himself. He picked up a piece of the so-called food and examined it. “Are you sure this stuff is edible?”</p><p>“Yes,” Hux glowered, sitting down upon the mattress and beginning to undress while Poe chewed in an awkward fashion on a particularly leathery dehydrated seaweed bar.</p><p>“Are you sure you could not have gotten anything a bit more palatable?” asked Poe after swallowing it down, grateful that at least they had a supply of water – he would definitely be needing it. Somehow it put him in a better mood to see Hux had returned – perhaps because it meant that he could trust him a bit more, and have something to fill his growling stomach, even if it tasted about as good as Hux’s shoes.</p><p>“It was the best value”</p><p>“Next time I’ll do the shopping,” said Poe, “So how did your ‘diplomacy’ go?”</p><p>There was a long pause before Hux finally answered.</p><p>“All officials and military have evacuated this region – taking any functioning ship with them for miles,” he said grimly.</p><p>“The kriffing bastards took my ship! My ship!” Poe threw aside the half eaten seaweed bar.</p><p>“Yes,” Hux said monotonously.</p><p>Armitage thought to himself of how things might have been if they had dared to leave their quarters sooner, for it was fear alone which had restrained them. It was ridiculous for him to have such a fear – of death, which was a <em>probability</em> out there, and a <em>certainty </em>if he remained with the man who was taking him to his execution. Yet the weeks of confinement and the loss of all that he had ever worked towards as a general had taken their toll upon his strength, both physically and mentally – although despairing, it felt easier to do nothing and wallow in hopelessness.</p><p>What drove him to finally take the risk was the worry that the wounds inflicted by Pryde, only partially healed, had grown infected – for it was unlikely that he had caught the virus, having had little contact with the inhabitants of the planet prior to that day.  </p><p> “Damn it Hux,” Poe felt just about ready to pull his own hair out. He took a deep breath. “Have we any chance of getting out of here? Maybe we can barter something for a trip back or –“</p><p>“As I have said, anything that flies has already been made use of by those with more foresight than you and I.” Hux looked down at the bare skin of his abdomen, still bearing a raw pink hue that troubled him. In some areas the skin appeared in darker shades with clotted blood and pus. He bit his lip, feeling his anxiety increase – he had used all of the pills the Resistance medics had given him, and they had been most effective for numbing the pain – perhaps too much so – but he knew that the jar of second-grade bacta which he managed to get would not last long, and in the process of going from tent to tent like a beggar he had taken a great risk. At the time it seemed that it made little difference, do die from the virus or from his festering injury. All the while, Hux experienced a morbid satisfaction in the thought that he was able to hide his troubles so well from Dameron, the other taking his sickness for sullenness.</p><p>“You – No -- ,” Poe looked aghast as he got a look of Hux’s abdomen. “Why did you not say anything?” his voice was angry the longer he stared at the man applying bacta. Hux winced, for as the substance met his seared skin, it seemed to neutralize the pain-relieving effects of the medic’s prescription – but what choice did he have.</p><p>“Let me do it,” said Dameron, taking the jar from him. “Lay down”</p><p>Hux was too exhausted in every way to protest, a part of him secretly glad of having someone else to do it – even Poe. He reclined upon the thin mattress, closing his eyes. For a strange moment he felt as though there were tears brimming in his eyes from the pain and another feeling which he tried to block away. He felt a loneliness intermingled with hatred, for he knew that Poe was acting by impulses and contradictions, for it made little sense to heal a condemned man.</p><p>As gently as he could, Poe applied the bacta, sad to see that the size of the injury would require most of the contents of the jar – he did not know where they would be able to get more and Hux looked like he was in no condition to get it. He wondered how he had even managed to make the excursion in the first place.</p><p>“You crazy ginger bastard,” Poe muttered to himself. “Why did you not say anything? Tell me,” he said forcefully, trying to shake the guilt-ridden feeling that was clouding over his mind.</p><p>Hux made an indistinct sound, his eyes opening and then closing again.</p><p>“Fine, don’t answer me – I-I just don’t know what we are going to do from here,” Poe felt like things were going from bad to worse. All that he wanted to do was get back to the Resistance base – feeling utterly useless. He had to do something – once it was light again he would look for more bacta gel for Hux, see if anyone had a ship – or even parts of a ship, or any mode of transportation to get away from the most disease infested region of the planet. In the meantime, he would try to help him in whatever way he could – there was something in the simple gesture of sharing food with him that Poe felt deserved a good turn, that and the awful state Hux was in.</p><p>“W-what are you doing?” Hux lifted his neck to look at him.</p><p>“Giving you a foot massage,” Poe tried to seem as if it was a completely natural thing to do.</p><p>Hux continued to stare at him -- not satisfied with this answer, neither knowing how to respond.</p><p>“I know you must be hurting a lot...my mother used to do it when I was sick with pneumonia as a child, help me to relax,” he offered.</p><p>“Oh...I see,” Hux looked away, feeling embarrassed but not quite sure why. Still, he laid his head back down and allowed Poe to continue.</p><p>“Um...is there anything else I could do for you?” asked Poe, feeling awkward as well. Maybe it was not such a great spur of the moment idea.</p><p>“What do you mean?” asked Hux.</p><p>“To help get your mind off of...you know, the memento Pryde left you,” he shrugged his shoulders.</p><p>Hux looked up at the ceiling, everything felt really strange. A mixture of pleasure, pain and anxiety.</p><p>“Yes,” he said at last.</p><p>“What is it?” asked Poe, not a little surprised to see Hux take him up on the offer.</p><p>“I-I want you to stroke my hair,” he said nervously.</p><p>“Your...hair?”</p><p>“Yes”</p><p>Poe could tell that his face was less pale than usual without even looking at him.</p><p>“Uh...okay then, I guess I could,” Poe reminded himself that if he was trying to be altruistic he ought not to give away any sign that he found the request somewhat weird. He got up and went to the tap, getting a wet cloth to place upon the other’s forehead. “How’s that?” Poe asked.</p><p>“Thank you,” said Hux, his voice unusually quiet.</p><p>“Now, for stroking your hair,” he said with a hearty smile.</p><p>“You do not have to, it was nonsensical of me –“</p><p>“No, no. I’m doing it,” Poe insisted it, laughing lightly. “Settle down now”</p><p>Hux looked at him doubtfully and then at last closed his eyes in submission.</p><p>Poe sat down on the mattress beside him, running his hand gently over the other’s soft hair. He noticed that Hux shivered at his touch and that his body grew tense, as if nervous or self-conscious.</p><p>“It’s alright,” Poe tried to reassure him. “I won’t tell anybody about this”</p><p>“I do not care if you do,” said Hux. This was a lie.</p><p>“Try to relax now, close your eyes again,” he continued. To his surprise, Hux complied without further protest – for Poe had anticipated that he was having second thoughts and would send him away. But no. He wanted this.</p><p>For some minutes he sat beside him, silently caressing him. Clearly Hux was enjoying it for he was somewhere between dozing off and becoming aroused. Poe wondered what his friends would think if they saw the two of them – a bizarre sort of intimacy with the former First Order general, who apparently was rather touch-starved. It felt a bit melancholy too, thought Poe, as he considered the man’s condition</p><p>“I don’t know what to do with you,” Poe mumbled faintly to himself as he gazed at Hux.</p><p>“What do you mean?” spoke Armitage.</p><p>“You know I talk to myself, it’s nothing,” he answered in a seemingly causal way, a bit startled.</p><p>Hux sat up slightly and looked at him.</p><p>“Thank you,” he said, again his expression took on an unreadable aspect.</p><p>Poe nodded, patting him on the shoulder before getting up. “Do you want some of this stuff or have you had some already?” he offered Hux some of the seaweed.</p><p>Hux took it and began to chew, feeling somewhat more sympathy for Poe’s earlier protests about the texture.  </p><p>“We’ll get through this somehow,” said Poe. Hux did not answer.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Poe was glad that Hux was fast asleep from the pain medication, for at last the long awaited message came through that a Resistance ally ship was in the vicinity and coming for them within the hour. They would be able to trace their coordinates to the building but it was best to wait near the abandoned private aircraft landing pad several blocks away to expedite things. Poe received the coordinates and prepared to meet them there. He hoped it would not be far, for he would be obliged to carry Hux there – but better that than risk a confrontation, given the associations many of the Resistance had of the general. Poe draped a blanket over him like a cloak and lifted him into his arms, trying to get a comfortable hold upon him. Hux made a sound like a moan as Poe accidently pressed against his wound.</p><p>“We’re getting out of here, hold on,” said Poe as if to comfort him, but received no answer. He took only what was necessary from his belonging and made his way through the deserted hall down to the empty streets, hoping that he would not get lost in all the twists and turns of the dirty alleyways.</p><p>At one point he thought he saw a human-like figure curled up in a sleeping bag, he considered approaching it but in the end resolved that he had to keep moving – there was something eerie about it, and the others which he saw, all motionless, their faces hidden in folds of fabric. It did not seem wise to linger, all the while leaving him with a guilt-ridden feeling. The body of Hux in his arms felt like it was close to being one of them. He tried to shake the disturbing thought away – almost tempting him to wake the man just to make sure he was still okay.</p><p>No – he could feel Hux’s breathing, the slight stirring of his limbs – he was still with him.</p><p>Hux groggily opened his eyes at the sound of a muffled voice over him, he realized then that he was being carried and that it was Poe’s familiar face above him, shouting something that sounded like ‘fin’. Through his lashes he could see that they had left the dilapidated building and were somewhere outside while the turbine of an old ship engine was sending gusts of sand towards them, prickling against Hux’s skin. His ears were stuffed and he reckoned this too was Poe’s doing – certainly something was happening and the pilot had not cared to brief him on the plan, if there had ever been one.</p><p>The man was not looking at him and this gave Hux the option of feigning unconsciousness a while longer – this he resolved to do, persuaded that it was the only way by which he would submit to the indignity of being carried, conceding to entrust himself to Dameron of all people, in the absence of a better alternative.</p><p>In truth, he felt too weak and uncertain of the circumstances to put up a fight, and furthermore, was embarrassingly comfortable in the stranger’s arms compared to what would await him. Hux supposed that they were not entirely strangers – having spent much time in quarantine together, and yet, they had shared little of themselves with one another – thereby having grown familiar with each other’s bodily presence, while maintaining an emotional distance. There was a peculiar dread in him as he imagined having to return to a prison cell where the days would pass by in silence and solitude, except for the visits of an old droid who would bring him his meager and unsavory meals. Poe felt the other’s hand cling to him in a reflexive gesture as the thought crossed Hux’x conscience, but the pilot made no sign in return, hurrying after the ally commander.</p><p>Poe ascended a flight of steps to board the ship and again Hux nearly gave himself away as he feared that the man would knock his head against the edge of the door – luckily Poe observed this just in time. He then heard the pilot laugh as he lowered him onto the floor of the ship, his neck slumped against some kind of rucksack. Hux wondered what this chuckle meant, if it was suspected that he was awake – still he decided to wait.</p><p>It was hard to hear over the sounds of the ship taking flight but Hux thought he discerned some whispering – only he could not make out the words.</p><p>Suddenly, he felt a forceful kick to the thigh. With a yelp, Hux opened his eyes to see FN-2187.</p><p>“I wonder how long we’ll be dragging you after us before you finally die,” said Finn, thinking upon Hux with anger mixed with pleasure, to see their former positions reversed. He could well imagine how the general would have treated an enemy, moreover – a traitor.</p><p>They started each other down with marked hostility – Finn’s fists clenched while Hux’s back stiffened as if bracing himself for another attack.  </p><p>“That is for you to decide,” said Hux defiantly, as if to test him.</p><p>Finn swallowed hard, further infuriated by the man’s false bravado. He knew that they could not kill him, or even fight him with impunity, not before the trial.</p><p>“You better watch yourself,” Finn said in a low voice, “you’re on your own now Hux and make no mistake, sometimes accidents happen here too”</p><p>Hux’s brow furrowed, his lips a tight line, for apparently the allusion was not lost upon him – Poe could only guess at what the incident might have been which connected their less than amiable past. He knew he had to intervene before things got messy, as unpleasant as it was to stand in the way of his friend.</p><p>However, his reaction was too late. The smirk which appeared on Hux’s face was more than what Finn could bear to see.</p><p>“Hey! Hey!” Poe pulled Finn away by the arm as the other man fought furiously against him as he lashed out towards Hux, “let him go! What did you do that for?!”</p><p>Meanwhile Hux had pressed himself against the wall, watching their struggles with a half-fearful satisfaction, wiping his bloody nose which still stung painfully from the blow.</p><p>“Take a guess,” growled Finn when at last Poe let him go, glaring at the man he still thought of as General Hux of the First Order.</p><p>“He’s already our prisoner, we’ve got to keep to the rules,” said Poe firmly.</p><p>“Since when did you care about rules?” he gave him a furious look.</p><p>“I don’t know, maybe I’m just thinking he might not have long one way or another – let’s take it easy on him,” he said casually, not having fully formed a compelling explanation for his concern over Hux even for his own sake – it was just his gut feeling that was well made up.</p><p>This was a feeling that resembled that which he might experience for a vicious animal which had lost a leg or was caught in a trap, and would bark and whimper whenever something came near, not knowing whether to bite or beg.</p><p>Finn did not seem convinced by this argument but nevertheless left Hux and Poe be, departing from the chamber with an air of being busy with more important matters.</p><p>Hux watched him leave, relaxing only after he saw the door shut behind him. He made a note to be watchful for any future encounters, feeling in no shape for hand to hand combat.</p><p>“What did you do to him that Finn wants to strangle you?” said Poe once they were alone, throwing him a handkerchief to wipe away the blood.</p><p>“You named it Finn?” Hux smiled sardonically. He thought it best not to answer the question.</p><p>“Listen now Hugs,” Poe sighed, rubbing his brow, “not a lot of people are going to put up with you so do try and make yourself tolerable, or do you think I’ll be there saving your neck all the time”</p><p>Poe observed that Hux looked as though he was about to say something but stopped himself in time, his features softening somewhat.</p><p>“T-thank you for your assistance,” said Hux with some apparent reluctance.</p><p>“Um – you’re welcome,” replied Poe, finding it weird to be the recipient of begrudging gratitude rather than one of his customary retorts. He could guess that Hux was doing it for the self-serving purpose of gaining himself an ally, but it was start.</p><p>Poe smirked as Hux’s gaze flickered away from his as if embarrassed.</p><p>“Is gratitude not something you usually practice?” teased Poe, crouching down beside him. On a whim, he reached out and touched the other’s sideburns, and then ruffled his hair to mess it up where it had been carefully parted. “Also, it’s interesting that you have managed to keep your hair so neatly trimmed, all things considered. And your hands too – so very clean and white, you look positively ravishing,” he glanced down and then again met Hux’s eyes, wiggling his eyebrows in droll suggestiveness.”That’s a compliment, by the way”</p><p>Hux looked at him closely as if the pilot had just threatened him with some kind of cruel and unusual torture.</p><p>“You mean you didn’t even notice?” Poe pretended to be shocked. “Oh Hux, after all the trouble that I go to for you”</p><p>“Notice what?” Hux said at last, trying to decode these strange messages. Then, it dawned on him.  “You combed my hair”</p><p>“That’s right, I thought you’d like that – in light of last night’s special request,” Poe grinned even more broadly.</p><p>“Never speak of that again,” said Hux, his face burning at the recollection of something which he half crossed off as a delirious dream, “w-why did you do it?” he could not keep himself from asking.</p><p>“I wanted to see what you would do,” Poe admitted truthfully enough.</p><p>“And what did I do?”</p><p>“Drool on the pillow mostly, and then stare at me with that afraid befuddled look – yeah, that one right there,” he pointed at Hux’s face, who swatted he finger away.</p><p>“I am not amused by your manner of humor,” said Hux in what he hoped was a cold and indifferent voice, somewhat lacking in self-assurance.</p><p>“I know you’ll never admit it, but I think you are in need of a little affection – of getting close to people,” said Poe, compelled by his curiosity to take it a bit further. “You don’t know what to do with a bit of gentleness,” and he stroked Hux’s cheek.</p><p> “Don’t touch me,” Hux drew away, sensing that he was being mocked.</p><p>“If you say so,” Poe withdrew his hand, not surprised by the other’s reaction.</p><p>“I am unwell, do not plague me with your – your unnatural behavior,” Hux staggered further away from him as Poe crept after him laughing.</p><p>“What do you think I’m going to do?” he asked, seeing that he looked almost scared.</p><p>“I cannot tell what you are capable of Dameron,” spat Hux, beginning to lose patience with Poe and the game that was being played at his expense.</p><p>“I am capable of anything, you’re right to feel afraid Hugs – you never know with these Resistance pilots – they’re all crazy of course”</p><p>“I told you, I am not afraid of you”</p><p>“Then prove it”</p><p>“How?”</p><p>“Trust me,” said Poe, taking his hand. Hux was about to pull away but hesitated.</p><p>“Trust you to do what?”</p><p>“Trust me in a general way – as a person,” he looked at him seriously this time.</p><p>“I do not understand your meaning,” Hux turned away, not knowing how to respond to such a request.</p><p>“Oh I think you do”</p><p>“What would this show of trust towards you entail?” Hux looked at him critically, wondering if this too was part of Poe’s game.</p><p> “It’s more of how you feel, although it comes through in your actions too,” Poe tried to explain. “It means letting your guard down a bit, not seeing me as your enemy or your captor”</p><p>“What does it matter how I feel – so long as I obey”</p><p>“Maybe that’s how people get by where you’re from but here, it’s different”</p><p>“You do what <em>feels</em> right?” scoffed Hux, “no wonder there is such rampant insubordination and haphazard military strategy. Now perhaps you shall say that under recent leadership, if you could call it leadership, the Order has taken to --”</p><p>“That’s not what I meant,” Poe interrupted the other’s discourse, “I’m only focusing on you and me just now, not the Resistance or the First Order -- we can think about all that later if you care to, although I’d save my breath as we’ll probably just have to agree to disagree”</p><p>“You think it’s over?” Hux supposed he ought to be passionately pleading the case that the Order would endure long after the fall of its incompetent Supreme Leader, but in that moment he did not feel the energy to argue. It seemed a futile thing – even if the Order did endure, he would not.</p><p>“I think it might amble about like a headless porg for a bit, but let’s just say it as seen better days and leave it at that,” answered Poe, “we’re going to be landing soon you know – hopefully this base will have decent medics to take care of you”</p><p>“Why is it that you have taken such an interest – if I may ask?” Hux watched him as he lifted up his shirt, long-sleeved and oversized, but of a soft linen material.</p><p>“Because I’m responsible for you. It looks like you’re feeling a lot better than last night, but I’m guessing that’s probably the painkillers – not sure when they’ll wear off...it still seems infected,” mumbled Poe as he examined the man’s wounds.</p><p>Hux was not satisfied with his answer, gazing at him with scrutiny as he lay mutely while Poe applied more bacta.</p><p>Once they landed, Hux was carried to a plainly furnished room with two beds in it. Poe told him he would be back and it was evening by the time he returned. Hux hated to admit that he had been nervously waiting for him. Meanwhile, a medic had come to run some tests on him and give him more medication. He found that he was feeling worse as the evening grew late.</p><p>“Hux?” he felt someone press his shoulder. He opened his eyes and saw that Poe had returned.</p><p>“What time is it?” he asked.</p><p>“Time for us to get some sleep – what a day,” he sighed, “are you feeling alright? What did the medic say?”</p><p>“T-That the wound is infected, they are still waiting for results for the virus which we may have been exposed to,” Hux answered, secretly relieved by the sign that the second bed was for Poe. “You should not be here – it may be that it is only myself who has been affected”</p><p>“I know, but I managed to convince them to let us share this room, especially as this medbay is short on beds – and I don’t mind”</p><p>“You do not mind dying,” Hux looked at him incredulously, “and how is it that you managed that Dameron?” Hux did not share his confidence that this was a sensible idea.</p><p>“Mostly stubbornness....I guess they’re not too thrilled about me now that they think I’m being too soft with you...to put it lightly,” Poe rubbed his neck, recalling the uncomfortable conversation, especially the parts where his loyalty to the Resistance was put to question. It took everything he had not to lose his temper.</p><p>“So now you are at liberty to die in the company of a First Order traitor, if you so choose? How obliging they are,” said Hux. “As for you -- I do not understand you”</p><p>“There’s no need to be sarcastic, I just thought you would be lonely without me,” he tried to say it in a joking way but he meant it, “and I almost definitely already have whichever kind of plague we brought back. So we’re in this together – won’t that be nice”</p><p>“You are experiencing symptoms?” Hux suddenly looked more alert.</p><p>“A bit of a fever, I would sure be glad to lie down right about now”</p><p>“You’re being very foolish, to be so careless about yourself,” said Hux.</p><p>“Now that’s a first, are you worried about me Hugs?” Poe smiled, sitting down on the edge of the bed. He touched his forehead and found it warm, indeed the man did not look too well. “Um – are you getting better somewhat?”</p><p>“Not really, no,” murmured Hux.</p><p>“Do you need anything?” he asked, feeling an urge to help despite his own sickness.</p><p>“No, you should rest,” Hux insisted.</p><p>“Alright, you too,” Poe nodded.</p><p> As he got up he felt Hux’s arm clutch at the fabric of his shirt.</p><p>“What is it?” he paused, looking at him – waiting for Hux to speak for it seemed that the man had not yet made up his mind.</p><p>“I am sorry,” he said at last.</p><p>“For what?”</p><p>“For infecting you with the virus, most likely – at the time it did not matter to me, as long as I got the bacta that I needed, and so I had risked exposing you to the illness,” Hux avoided eye contact as he spoke.</p><p>Poe suspected as much already but was surprised to hear Hux admit it so openly.</p><p>“We’ll get through this,” Poe pressed his hand in comfort.</p><p>“You cannot know that,” said Hux.</p><p>“No – but it helps to have some hope, otherwise you will just be laying there feeling depressed, getting weaker,” Poe tried to explain.”You have to fight it, if you set your mind that way it gives your body strength too”</p><p>“I am too cynical to benefit from any kind of placebo effect or things of that sort,” muttered Hux. “I cannot help it”</p><p>“I doubt I’ll get far trying to convince you with words, so make room,” sighed Poe, laying down beside him.</p><p>“There is a second bed,” said Hux, but made room for him nonetheless.</p><p>“Just let yourself enjoy it, stop worrying,” said Poe, putting his arm around him, careful to avoid the wound.</p><p>“What makes you think that I enjoy having you snore in my ear and elbow me in the ribs in the middle of the night,” Hux could not let go of having to pretend that he did not understand what Poe was trying to do. A part of him did want it, the comforting presence of another person who seemed to care for him. He wanted it so much it frightened him.</p><p>“Close your eyes, maybe that will help,” Poe told him, covering the blanket over himself and the other man who he had pulled into his arms. Hux made no effort to resist and this he took as a good sign. “We are alone here, just the two of us. It’s okay,” he said softly.</p><p>“Fine, now let me sleep,” said Hux, curling up against the other’s body. He wanted to pretend that he was doing it to oblige Poe and get some rest, but he knew that it was more than that.</p><p>“Tell me if you get too warm,” smiled Poe.</p><p>Hux did feel hot and feverish and having the other so near him was somewhat suffocating, but he did not want to deny himself an opportunity that might never come again – to be comforted, to receive affection. He was willing to suffer much for that.</p><p>Poe was pleased to see him submit and they stayed that way for some time until he felt the man stir, making him loosen his hold upon him.</p><p>“I do not deserve this,” Hux said quietly, burying his face in the crook of the other’s neck.   </p><p>“It’s okay, do not worry,” Poe rubbed his back soothingly, “you think too much about everything, rest for now”</p><p>Poe felt a wetness and could tell that Hux was crying, somehow the thought of the other’s vulnerability made him shiver.</p><p>“It’s alright, everything will be alright,” he said softly in to his ear. He wanted to comfort him so badly but did not know how.</p><p>“T-thank you,” breathed Hux, clinging to him like a child.</p><p>“I am here for you, you will wake up in the morning and I will be next to you,” he kissed Hux’s forehead.</p><p>“How did you know...that I...that I wanted <em>this</em>?” Hux did not look him in the eyes, uncomfortable with talking openly about his feelings, yet his desire for an answer being greater than his reserve.</p><p>“I only suspected it,” Poe admitted, “from what Finn told me, I have a sense of what life in the First Order is like. I guess...from your childhood too, maybe I imagined more about you than I could have ever found out, these are the sort of things one keeps to himself, but sometimes it’s good to let them out – to let people in,” he felt like he was no good at explaining but he hoped that Hux would understand that he meant well and wanted to be a friend to him if not more, even as his last days may well be approaching.</p><p>“I see,” said Hux, considering his words.</p><p>“Did I guess wrong, that you would not mind a friend?” Poe lifted his face gently to look up at him so that their eyes met.</p><p>“I-I would not mind that,” stammered Hux, feeling foolish and at a loss for words, but also happy in a way that was new to him.</p><p>“Good,” Poe smiled at him.</p><p>Hux wanted to show some sign of his feelings, afraid that if he did not do so Poe might retract his offer. He took the man’s hand and pressed it to his lips, holding it there for a while as tears continued to roll down his cheek and onto the other’s fingers. Poe looked at him with compassion and Hux relished this expression, feeding off of the affection and kindness he had long been starved of. At the same time he was afraid of what it would mean if Poe would end up hurting him in the future, if he should allow himself to become dependent upon these feelings and grow weak for them, and then experiencing the sting of betrayal and manipulation.  His thoughts felt foggy and muddled, silently distressed.</p><p>“We should probably sleep now,” said Poe, stroking Hux’s cheek, “but if you want to talk about things in the morning, or any other time, you know you can. I want you to get better”</p><p>“Get better for the trial?” said Hux, drawing away his hand at the bitter remembrance.</p><p>“Don’t think about the trial,” Poe furrowed his brow, he still had to think of a plan of getting past that obstacle, but he was determined to one way or another.</p><p>“I cannot help it”</p><p>“Just for tonight then, don’t think about it tonight,” he urged him, seeing that perhaps it was not such a good idea to overwhelm the sick man with so many emotions and worries. “Try to. Close your eyes and try to focus on...on this. Right now, this moment. You are no longer alone, you have me – I will do everything I can to help you. Even if it fails, you can know for certain that someone is willing to risk his life for you”</p><p>“Why would you do that?” Hux felt ashamed by his nerve-wrecked state, his face was likely a mess from the long-suppressed tears. He felt like a pathetic child.</p><p>“Because your life means something to me, I did not plan on this – but I’m going to see it through to the end,” Poe promised him, “I did not want to say this just yet but I feel like you will get it out of me anyways. Maybe you know already and want to hear it said,” he looked at Hux hesitatingly, still doubtful if he ought to tell him about his feelings, sensing that it was too soon.</p><p>“You are right, we should rest,” said Hux, feeling nervous as the other spoke, not knowing what it would mean for them if Poe said what he thought he was going to say. There was time, long ago in his youth, when someone had made advances upon him, playing upon his emotions – those were memories which still brought him shame and regret. He hoped that Poe’s kindness was not fuelled by similar motives – and if it was, he wanted only to prolong the illusion a while longer.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
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